Friday, May 31, 2013

I'm sorry but...

... Did you mean that literally? Or were you referring to the sex act of the same name?" is what I'm going to start saying to people who ask me dumb questions.

Saturday, April 13, 2013


I picked up some children's books and a funny little piggy bank at a thrift shop this week. The books are for Finn, the bank is for me. Because it's good to be the Queen. I don't know why I find that so amusing. But I do.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Many Happy Returns


This is the point where I sidle up to you in the bar, or sit down next to you in the restaurant, and try to pretend that I've been there the whole time. Like I haven't been missing for three years, leaving this blog to sit idly, and leaving my friends in the lurch.

Well, let me try to explain.

There I was, two years after finishing Grad school, no real job on the horizon, mortgages going unpaid.... depression looming. I felt like a failure. My blog posts got fewer and farther in between, and I ran out of things to say, or possibly the ability to sound nonchalant about it all. I felt like my world was slowly being ground down to nothing. After I stopped writing, I entered a pretty dark period....

And then, with a flash, everything changed. I was juggling three part time jobs, I met my soul mate (no, really) in a very unexpected place, we got married, we worked together to get the mortgages paid (also, thanks mom for the sizable loan) and then, finally, we had a baby.  Yeah, you heard that right!

I had a baby! I tiny human. I point to him all the time and tell people "I made that!" Not even kidding. I can't hardly put the thing down - he's sooo cute! Even when he cries, and his tongue does this little vibration thing, just like in cartoons, oh my god I just want to kiss his little face forever!!!

Sorry. Mom moment. So. Anyway, I'm back. Or I'm trying to be. I still have a lot of things going on.  I've quit my real jobs to raise my son, but I still teach Kung Fu 5 days a week, plus Falcon and Finch, my shop on etsy. Plus being an outstanding wife and mother, if I do say so myself.

Also, let me just say, "I'm sorry, friend, for leaving you for so long."

Wanna see a pic of my super adorbs baby??? Heeeeeelllllll yeah!


I made this!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Has Anyone Noticed

That my counter says 'Natural Antidepressents?'

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Holy cow, that was a break, right? Yeah, I know. I have excuses, I mean, um, reasons, though. Starting at the end of June, through last weekend, I've been up to my eyeballs in life. I mean, it just got all over the place. You know how that is: Kung Fu practice every day, working two jobs, trying to keep Falcon and Finch and Bright New Things going... did I mention Kung Fu every day? Yep. But things are winding down - after IKC next weekend, I'll be back to Kuing Fu only 4 days a week, plus all the other crap.

In other news.... life continues to strike an unexpected balance. My worries and fears still maintain, but sudden happiness has distracted me. I had reached kind of a plateau in the last couple of years with martial arts: I taught more than I could practice, and our advanced practices had fallen by the way side. Kung Fu was becoming more stress than pleasure. My recent training experiences, however, have helped me break through this wall, and that feels AWESOME. I'm learning things again, pushing myself, improving as a fighter and performer. And I've developed some amazing personal friendships through all of this Kung Fu. All of these experiences have reminded me about what I really LIKE about me. I'm not my upside down mortgage or my inability to land a teaching job at a good university. I AM that bright tension between the muscles of my hand and my sword, that moment of connection when I block or strike. And I am full of love and friendship for the people in my life.

I feel like I've got my second wind.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Touch the Water

Listen, I know I've been silent over here for a while - it's been a busy month, with it's ups and downs, mostly ups though, thank you very much. I'm getting back in the swing of things however, so listen up.

We all know about the oil spill in the Gulf. I can't even watch news footage of it, I find it so terribly upsetting. SO I'm going to participate in this, and I think you should too:



Here's the original post from Hannah at Divining Women. This Saturday I'm going to send some positive energy to the Earth and I hope you will join me.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

I'm in training. Yay.

When ever life throws me a fast ball (curve ball? I don't really 'get' baseball metaphor) I find myself embracing kung fu ever deeper. All of the trouble, irritations and pain of daily life only serve to further deepen my connection to the one thing that brings me pleasure, release and confidence. In the end it will just be me, some cats, and about 105 Quyen, or forms, I'm sure. Right now I know about 15, in case you were wondering.

So, IKC, the big martial arts tournament in Long Beach grows ever closer and I've decided to shake off my current bout of setbacks and really concentrate on my form. From today I have almost exactly 3 months. I've worked in walking/jogging 4 days a week, plus extra practices on Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Sun. Although, in all honesty, some of these practices are less intense than others. A rigorous teaching schedule makes it hard to get the most out of the in class sessions. I need to step up my game plan and get more of a hardcore training in 3 x a week or more. I've been trying to work in a lot of sparring and self defense drills, as well as full speed form practices until I can't breathe any more. That's like, 2.

I don't have too many stats to memorize, but I weigh in at 120.5 lbs right now, and get pretty out of breath after doing about 2 thirds of the Rose Form. One of my shoulders has been bothering me a lot, as does one of my knees. I will keep you updated, sports fans, on the amazing differences my training schedule will bring. I tend to drop weight fast when I want to, but I do find it challenging to maintain stamina. It feels like the first time I take a nap, I'm right back to where I started from.

I want to bring home another 1st place trophy this year. That's the goal of all of this self torture. Well, trophies, and to further strength the bond between body, mind and chi. After all, if I don't have Kung Fu, I ain't got nuthin'. Oh, also, I will soon be writing about the philosophical and historical aspects of Kung Fu. Stay tuned for that bit of wit and genius.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Mermaid Art Giveaway at eWitch

A friend of mine from eWitch is giving away some of her lovely fantasy themed digital art. Visit the blog post for a chance to win your choice of mermaid or merman (rowr) print!

Friday, April 02, 2010

Hans Christian Anderson, I love you so


the little mermaid
Originally uploaded by hkapeman
Was I a nerd because I read too many books? Or did I read too many books because I was, inherently, a nerd? Who cares. The point is, of all the gifts I received as a child; the dolls, the ponies, real and plastic, the clothes and rubber bracelets, my favorites always were, and will remain, books. There was a lot of upheaval in my early life, and many books I cherished, like an illustrated Beatrix Potter book, and a soiled, tattered copy of Lyle, Lyle Crocodile got left behind. One book I've managed to keep near, however, is a gorgeously illustrated collection of Hans Christian Anderson stories, given to me by my father in 1988. I remember him, and my step mother at the time, reading to us from this book before my brother and I went to bed. Is it weird that my parents still read me bed time stories once in a while when I was 12? Possibly, but reading for pleasure has been linked with success as adults, so whatever.

Anderson wrote some of the most cherished stories of contemporary childhood, though you may not recognize some of the original endings. "The Little Mermaid," for instance, ends with heart break and tragedy, not Ariel and the Prince dancing off into happily ever after. Anderson also wrote classics like "The Ugly Duckling," "The Snow Queen," and "The Princess and The Pea." And there are lesser known gems, like "The Tinder Box," and "The Elder Tree Mother," both of which I loved as a child. Anderson told a world that was both beautiful and sad, and often rife with danger, where love and loss both triumphed. His characters are fragile and flawed, but find reserves of personal strength, courage, and faith.

In honor of his birthday, which was today, 205 years ago, please explore the work of this wonderful tale teller: http://hca.gilead.org.il/

And if you are already a fan, check out The Annotated Hans Christian Anderson edited and with notes by Maria Tatar, noted folklore scholar. It's loaded with intriguing and insightful commentary:
http://www.amazon.com/Annotated-Hans-Christian-Andersen-Books/dp/0393060810